Before us great Death stands
Our fate held close within his quiet hands.
When with proud joy we lift
Life’s red wine
To drink deep of the mystic shining cup
And ecstasy through all our being leaps—
Death bows his head and weeps.
~ Death by Rainer Maria Rilke
How did it go so fast
You'll say as we are looking back
and then we'll understand
we held gold dust
~ Gold Dust by Tori Amos
|roses for the dead (by emonightfox deviantart.com)|
The School Yard
I step off the train.
And I step back in time.
To my old home town.
Many things have changed.
Many things have remained the same.
There is comfort in familiarity.
And a tug at the heart.
I walk the same streets I once knew so well.
And on through the shrouded park with its tall oak tress and lake.
Once a oasis of calm in the storm.
I pause to drink in the scene.
The park is secluded.
Only birds circle overhead.
I take a breath.
Then I walk out into the road that leads to you.
A fork in the road takes me to your old house.
And I stand outside.
Emotions jostle for my attention.
The years fall away and I am looking at the house as it once was.
And imagine you running out to meet me.
But that was yesterday.
I follow the path I once knew so well.
Right past your favourite place.
The little tree on the hill.
The place where we dared to dream.
And then onto the old comprehensive school.
It is as it was.
With its grand façade and large school yard.
The old refectory and art block are where they were.
I stand by the gates as joy and sorrow grip my soul.
And I am pulled back.
The years evaporate.
I close my eyes.
When I open them again, the school yard is full of children again.
They are running and playing.
Children like the birds of the sky.
Talking animatedly and laughing even louder.
So many youthful, glowing faces full of life.
Then I see you.
You are standing in the blue duffel coat we bought together.
A solitary figure.
My heart leaps.
Joy vibrates through my being at the sight of you.
I call out to you, over and over again.
You slowly turn to me and I run to you.
My heart is so full of love I fear it will burst.
My heart is so full of pain I fear it will break if I lose you again.
All I want to do is hold you and never let you go.
To make it all go away.
You look so small and fragile as I race to you.
And finally I hold you with all the tenderness in my being.
I sob loudly.
But you tell me not to cry.
You are free now.
I spin you round and round.
Until it feels like we are flying through the sky.
Then I open my eyes again and everything has vanished.
And I am keeling before your grave.
You were still a child when you passed.
Still so innocent in your ways.
You went back to where you came from.
And now I cling to my memories.
Grateful that you stayed with us for a spell.
Now I yearn for someone to hold me.
Will you hold me and let me lie in your arms?
|into the light (by CatchMe-22 deviantart.com)|